Illusion

I stare into the raging horizon from my room’s balcony .The red sun is setting like a capricious flame slowly drifting to dark as the seconds pass . I inhale carefully as the smell of salted waves fill up my lungs .
Peace . Calmness. Absolution .
That’s all I ever desired .
Like a warm canopy surrounding me , the warm wind comforts me .The golden grains of sand below me hypnotize me .A golden blanket of stars .To my left , I see the dense forest .The trees dance with the  swaying wind as I hear the sound of leaves brushing each other .
The symphony of perfection .
I look into the distance on my right , just a bare beach with debris drifting back and forth with broken shells . The wind picks up it’s pace and starts to tickle my hair , my body , my face .Humming hush lullabies to my ears .
Slowly jabbing grains of sand into my wounds .
A warning .
The grains of sand start flying everywhere , shadowing my sight .The sun has almost set and it’s beginning to get too dark.The night unfolds like a dying wave. The wind is greedy as it gets too strong .The symphony turned into pain filling my ears .I’m on my knees now .I can’t stand straight .The sand turned from glittering stars to brutal daggers .I can’t fight , I’m too weak .Always was .Always have been .
I close my eyes and slowly give in . I’m exhausted . No , I’m a heartless corpse with no sense of direction .I’m ready to forget the beautiful crimes . I’m ready to let go of the chains binding me . I’m ready to leave the shame . I’m ready to forgive the haunting memories .
I’m Ready .
The pain is no longer attacking my ears .The winds dies out . I open my eyes and stare in disbelief into pitch black darkness.
Is it over ?
Everything feels so peaceful yet my heart begins to race .I look down and realize I can’t feel the balcony under me anymore .My feet are dug deep into the sand , feeling like tiny shards of glass injected deep into my bones.
I try to focus harder infront of me . I can barely make out my surroundings . I’m on the beach now . I stare above .The  rueful stars above barely give any light .
And then they were gone .
I realize too late the enormous wave that hovers above my head .

-Lily

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